Reflecting on 2023: Just a Few Highlights

I am doing something I do not think I’ve ever done before. I am going to reflect on my past year.

My last year had a lot of highs and a lot of lows. It all kind of seems like a blur, to be honest. However, I will do my best to touch on some things that happened. 

For starters, I FINALLY watched Lord of the Rings. This is crucial because, while we were dating, many people jokingly told my husband, “How can you date her?! She hasn’t seen LOTR!” I won’t lie, I resisted watching it for a while, but then, one random day, I decided to do so. (In fact, that’s how many things go for me–I resist for years, then randomly take the plunge.)

And let me tell you, I committed to it. We watched the extended version–and most of the special features included with it! It took time, no doubt, but it was so fun! Even though the story is depressing at times, I would definitely watch it again. I liked it a lot. 

My favorite character was Gimli. I resonated with his small stature and feisty spirit. As I’m sure, like many people, I really liked Gandalf. He was so wholesome and such a pivotal part of Frodo’s journey. LOTR wouldn’t be the same without him!

I am hoping to read it one day, too, but I am in no rush, as that is 1,000 plus pages. Truthfully, I hope for it to be something I watch once a year. I know that may not happen. Regardless, if a friend asks me if I want to watch it, I’ll definitely say yes!

I cut off 16 plus inches of my hair! That might be the most I’ve ever cut off. When I cut it, it was definitely time. My hair was so long that it was bothering me. I actually need to get another haircut. I want to stick with my short hair for a little while longer. Knowing me, I’ll absolutely have it very long again one day. But, for now, I am really enjoying the short do. 

As you can see from last week’s image, I discovered the wonderful world of AI images this year. I seriously love creating the images. It is so fun trying to figure out the exact words you need to prompt the AI to create an image you have in your head. Sometimes, it takes a lot of effort, but it is so worth it for that one-of-a-kind, extra-special image. 

I discovered AI is a lot better at creating images of animals than it is at creating those of people. Images of my precious Maltese are far more adorable and realistic than those of myself sometimes. Nevertheless, sometimes, the AI surprises me and the image looks so much like me that it is eerie…and just so fascinating! 

Regardless, I guarantee you, it’ll be a long time before I tire of creating those images. There are just so many possibilities. And I think it is such a fun outlet for the creative side of me. I promise this will be the last time you see AI images from me, but I wanted to show some of my most favorite creations. However, narrowing it down is nearly impossible!

Speaking of creativity, I unexpectedly got to do some freelance writing this year, which was such a fun surprise. I had the honor and privilege of interviewing and writing an article about a local artist. When I was a news reporter, I absolutely loved interviewing people. It was my favorite part of the whole process. 

Needless to say, I deeply enjoyed interviewing this artist and writing an article about her! I hope to do more freelance work in 2024, but if I don’t, I’ll deeply cherish my experience. It was so much fun to step back into my newspaper world for a little bit again. 

This one is a little silly, but it is worth mentioning. I got my first-ever ball cap this year! I have wanted one for a very long time. Fittingly, I got one from my favorite local coffee shop. I feel so cool with it. I think it fits me and my personality quite well. Something tells me I might start a collection of ball caps from my favorite coffee shops…and I am not mad about that one bit!

Lastly, this is a very recent development in my past year. Nevertheless, it is a very important one. I learned how to make one of my husband’s favorite Christmas treats! Not many people may know about it, but it is called Tiger Butter. 

It is quite easy to make with a few ingredients, including peanut butter, chocolate, almond bark, and coconut oil. It is mainly mixing, melting, stirring, and pouring. The longest part is waiting for the treat to set in the fridge! Needless to say, I already have plans to make it myself next year.

There you have it. These are some of my highlights from this year. Obviously, I had much more happen, both good and bad, but these moments stand out–big and small. I would love to hear from you! What were some of your highlights this year? Did you try something new? Did you learn anything? Let me know!

Blessings,

Renata

–

Thank you dearly for taking time out of your lives to read my blog! Your support means the world to me. I praise God you found this blog, whether you stumbled upon it accidentally or sought it out intentionally.

I’d LOVE to hear from you all! Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at coffee.soothes.the.soul@gmail.com.

I pray God would bless you and be with you always, no matter where you find yourselves in life.

–

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. – Romans 4:25 (NIV).

My Gotcha Day: 24 Years in America

December 21, 2023, the day this post goes live, marks 24 years in America. Yes, December 21 is my “Gotcha Day!” Or, the day my adoptive family officially brought me home.

“Gotcha!” days are an extra special day for people (and pets! 😁) who are adopted. Some people may not even know such a day exists. Well, I am here to tell you, that it does and I think it should be celebrated. So, if you know the day you were adopted, please, celebrate it!

You don’t have to do anything grand either. Eat a sweet treat. Drink your favorite beverage. Watch a favorite movie. Spend time with someone you love. Do something small.

Now, I say this knowing full well not everyone may have a great relationship with their adoptive families. Some people may have a great deal of trauma and baggage tied to their adoption and adoptive family.

But, even if that’s the case, I think it should be celebrated–just not in the way you think. Instead of celebrating the adoption itself, perhaps celebrate all the other amazing opportunities and relationships that would not have been possible without the adoption. 

In other words, if it is too hard to celebrate your adoptive family and the adoption, perhaps celebrate, “If it weren’t for my adoption, I would have never met this person or had this opportunity.” Focus on those gifts, no matter how hard it may be. 

For example, I have met some incredible people, thanks to my adoption. I have had some amazing conversations, thanks to my adoption. I am married, thanks to my adoption. I have multiple college degrees, thanks to my adoption. I can connect with people others may not be able to, thanks to my adoption. 

If I wasn’t adopted, none of that–and so much more–would have ever happened. However, by God’s divine grace and mercy, His plan for my life included an adoption. 

I also think it is very important to grieve on one’s “Gotcha Day!” I am sure I have said this before, but I always think it is worth repeating: Being adopted is traumatic, even if you are adopted into an amazing family. Being an orphan is traumatic, yes. But, the adoption itself is traumatic, too. One’s biological family relations are severed. That’s painful. And I think many people forget that.

Yes, being adopted is a blessing for many children. But, it is also incredibly hard. And the trauma surrounding adoption doesn’t stop with a new family. In fact, a new family may make it worse. Thankfully, some adoptive families may make it a little better, too. 

All I am saying is it’s okay to cry on that day. It is okay to grieve that loss. It’s okay to feel tense or agitated that day. One can grieve and be grateful for their adoption. 

I know this from personal experience. My “Gotcha Day!” isn’t easy. Thankfully, it’s gotten a little less painful through the years. As I have discussed, on those days, I celebrate the good made possible by my adoption and I grieve the trauma surrounding my adoption. 

Regardless, I am anxiously excited to see what God does in this next year, as it’ll be my 25th, which is wild to me. To tell you the truth, as the years go by, it’s that much harder to believe it’s been another year. So much has happened since I was adopted.

I still can’t wrap my head around the fact that God decided, “Little Renata, you will be born in Russia. Then, one day, you will come to America. Many hard things will happen, but many beautiful things will, too. And I’ll be there with you through it all.”

It’s hard not to think about my existence as a whole on these days. My story isn’t an accident and neither is yours.

Even though being adopted can be incredibly challenging, I wouldn’t change my story. I think that’s another reason why I celebrate. I am content with what God has done. I wouldn’t be me without my adoption. So, for that, I am grateful.

If you’ve been adopted, I hope you know your “Gotcha Day!” If you don’t, I encourage you to figure it out. And I encourage you to grieve and celebrate that day. 

And if you need someone to talk to about your adoption, I am here. Please send me an email at coffee.soothes.the.soul@gmail.com. I would love to help you process the trauma of adoption in even the slightest way possible. 

Blessings,

Renata

–

Thank you dearly for taking time out of your lives to read my blog! Your support means the world to me. I praise God you found this blog, whether you stumbled upon it accidentally or sought it out intentionally.

I’d LOVE to hear from you all! Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at coffee.soothes.the.soul@gmail.com.

I pray God would bless you and be with you always, no matter where you find yourselves in life.

– 

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. – Romans 4:25 (NIV).

The Holiday Season: Gifts

As we find ourselves in the holiday season, I thought it was appropriate to share a small tidbit about myself: I take gift-giving very seriously. 

I haven’t always been this way. I think that was largely due to working with a tight budget. My budget isn’t grand nowadays either, but it is enough that I can put more thought into the gifts I give. Now, that is not to say that money makes for a good gift. Some of the best gifts are free, like a handwritten note or craft. But, I have more options within a slightly larger budget. 

However, I also think my gift-giving has changed because my view of people has changed. I didn’t always value relationships as much as I do now. I think part of growing and nurturing a relationship is being extremely intentional. I wasn’t always this way. People weren’t always at the forefront of my mind like they are now.

To me, gift-giving is about finding something extremely unique to the recipient or recipients. Sometimes, that can take time. Other times, it is quite simple. Oftentimes, I am that person who thinks of a gift months in advance. 

More specifically, I am that person who listens to someone briefly mention something in passing, and I hold onto it for the next celebration, whether that is their birthday, Christmas, or maybe even just because. I am always hunting for the next great gift for someone I know and love.

Most importantly, I love making people feel special, seen, and heard. Sometimes, that might come in the form of a personalized gift. And I don’t simply mean gifts that come with their name on it. Although, that is certainly an option. 

No, instead, I LOVE those types of gifts that require the extra mile to make them possible. The types of gifts that require me to do research, that require me to jump through hoops, or that involve creating something. I think people deserve that.  

I also like to find gifts that I don’t think someone would buy for himself or herself. I like the idea of gifting an item that I think he or she would love to have but would never purchase or even cross their mind to own. There’s something special about going outside the lines of the typical gift. 

With all this in mind, you can imagine how upset I might be if I can’t think of a gift for someone. Truthfully, when a gift isn’t coming to mind, I feel gutted. I feel like I’ve let myself down and, most importantly, the recipient down by not knowing him or her well enough. I know deep relationships take time and I must work with what I know. Nevertheless, it really does pain me. 

I guess what I am trying to say is if you ever receive a gift from me, I’ve thought long and hard about it. I care deeply. Like I said, I want you to feel loved, seen, and heard. Your gift matters to me because your life matters to me. 

And if you’ve never thought long and hard about a gift for someone, I challenge you to do so. I am not saying spend more money. I mean really consider what someone may like, even if it is something small. 

For example, one of my friends received a huge bottle of ketchup for his birthday one year and he loved it. Why? Because he loved ketchup. I guarantee you that the gift was quite inexpensive, yet it meant a lot to my friend.

I wanted to provide a list of inexpensive gifts that might mean a lot to someone. Granted, you might look at this list and it may not inspire you, and that’s okay. However, there is a chance it may be just what you need to read. 

Also, you’ll notice gift cards are not on this list. I write all of this strongly discouraging them. There is a time and place for them, yes. However, for me, they are a last-ditch effort if I have exhausted all options. I know not everyone may agree–and that’s okay! 

You’ll also see many of the items on my list are experiences–things you can do together. Creating memories together is priceless and so easy to do. 

Alas, my list follows:

A funny or thoughtful card with a handwritten note inside.

A mug with a design unique to the person

A blanket with a design or color unique to the person.

BAKED GOODS. Yes! I’ve done it before and it is so fun! 

Or, for the bakers in your life, a unique baking item or tool. For instance, WalMart is the sole distributor of Nestle Toll House espresso chocolate chips. I would be ELATED if I got a couple of those bags for Christmas. 

Dinner on you at their place of choice–that you eat and enjoy together! And yes, this can be McDonald’s!

A trip to the nail salon–together. 

A day filled with options of things to do, for each time of day. My husband did this for me for my birthday years ago and it is one of my fondest memories. 

This one could be pricier, but going to a store to pick out an outfit! Obviously, you can pick a pricier store. Or, you could go to the thrift store and truly have no idea what you may find–and do so on a budget!

Spend the day perusing bookstores together. If your recipient finds one he or she loves, buy it. 

Mini golf. I know not all mini golf is cheap, but some places are quite affordable.

A unique hot sauce for the foodies or spicy lovers in your life. 

For the coffee lovers, set up a time to get coffee together and pay for it.

Replenish someone’s stash of something they love. For instance, like the ketchup I mentioned earlier. Or, if your friend loves a certain soda, candy, or drink.

Truthfully, I could go on and on. But, I think you get the point. Experiences matter. People matter. Gift-giving doesn’t have to break the bank. In fact, it can nurture and deepen a relationship. You just have to put a little bit of thought into it. I promise you it is more than worth it.

So, may your gift-giving challenge you and surprise you, dear friends, whether it be during the holiday season or any other celebration in between.

Blessings,

Renata

–

Thank you dearly for taking time out of your lives to read my blog! Your support means the world to me. I praise God you found this blog, whether you stumbled upon it accidentally or sought it out intentionally.

I’d LOVE to hear from you all! Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at coffee.soothes.the.soul@gmail.com.

I pray God would bless you and be with you always, no matter where you find yourselves in life.

–

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. – Romans 4:25 (NIV).

My Favorites: With a Little Spin on It

In light of the recent restart of my blog, I thought it might be fun to do a little get-to-know-me post. However, I’m going to put a little spin on it. I am going to talk about my favorites, but only those that can be represented through an emoji. In other words, if there is not an emoji available for this favorite, I won’t talk about it.

I have an iPhone, so I am using the emojis available through Apple. I know Android users may have other options available to them!

I am certain I have discussed some of these favorites in other posts, but it doesn’t hurt to mention them again, especially for any new readers.

First and foremost, my favorite animal is a dog. 🐶🐾

I absolutely LOVE dogs and they love me in return. On many occasions, other dogs have freaked out when they see me. Their owners have to help calm them down because they are that excited. I, of course, love the reaction.

Despite my immense love for all dogs, my most favorite dog will always be my furry boy, Noble, who is a Maltese. My husband and I adopted him over five years ago. He can be a stinker some days, but I sure do love him a lot. He’s my bestest fur friend. 

My other favorite animals include the giraffe, koala, and elephant. 🦒🐨🐘 I also have a soft spot for pandas, turtles, octopuses, and penguins. 🐼🐢🐙🐧 I’ve never considered myself a massive animal lover, per se. But, I definitely do like animals.

My favorite drink is coffee. ☕️

My favorite person to drink coffee with is my husband. I can’t tell you how many coffee adventures we’ve been on…and counting! I am currently on the hunt to find the best black coffee from a shop in my local city. I have enjoyed the process. Although, in my opinion, going to a coffee shop is all about getting those frou-frou cups you can’t make at home. So, I certainly don’t mind a latte or caramel macchiato.

My other favorite drinks include water, tea, and boba. 💦🫖🧋

I LOVE water. If I am not drinking coffee, I am more than likely drinking water. I do believe water tastes different. I like my water cold with no ice. In fact, I do not like ice in any of my drinks. I chug my water, too. I don’t sip.

I prefer hot tea over iced tea. My all-time favorite is an herbal tea available at Starbucks. As for boba, I only recently discovered it in the last few years. I thoroughly enjoy a milk tea boba at a local tea shop. I am always up for trying a new boba joint.

My favorite food is sushi. 🍣🍱

If I could eat only one food for the rest of my life, it would be sushi. Unsurprisingly, the absolute tastiest sushi I’ve ever had was in San Diego. It better be good on the west coast. It’s right by the ocean! Every year for my birthday, I eat sushi. It’s been a tradition for a few years and it’s going to stick.

My other favorite foods include strawberries, peaches, pizza, french fries, croissants, burgers, and avocados. 🍓🍑🍕🍟🥐🍔🥑

Just before writing this, I had an incredible strawberry, which reminded me all over again why I love them so much. My go-to pizza is very specific–a thin and crispy pizza with pepperoni and mushrooms from Pizza Hut. I rarely have it, but when I do, it hits the spot.

It shouldn’t surprise you that I have a ranking of my favorite fries. At the top of that list is Freddy’s. And don’t even get me started on their fry sauce. Yum!! 😋 If fries are an option with a meal, I guarantee you, I’ll probably have some.

As for croissants, there are few I do not like. My favorite burger is a mushroom Swiss, which is kind of ironic because that is the only time I eat Swiss cheese. I won’t lie, though, not many places have mushroom Swiss burgers. So, if I have the chance to try it, I more than likely will. I think I love avocado mainly for its hefty contribution to guacamole, but you can’t go wrong with avocado toast either!

My favorite clothing to wear is a dress. 👗

I used to rarely wear them. Now, I have an ever-growing collection. There’s something so effortless and beautiful about a dress. I have many favorite dresses. I couldn’t even begin to pick a favorite–unless my wedding dress counts. My go-to dress is the fit and flare dress, especially the ones at Old Navy. I have several. I am a sucker for florals, too. Many of my dresses have ditsy flowers on them. Again, back to elegant and beautiful.

My favorite forms of exercise are riding a bike–or tricycle, in my case–swimming, and basketball. 🚴🏼‍♀️🏊🏼‍♀️🏀

I haven’t ridden my bike in a while, for numerous reasons. But, it is very freeing for me. I can’t tell you most of the rules of basketball. But, I do have a solid follow-through.

I am a pretty lousy swimmer, but there’s something so relaxing about being in the water, especially when it’s heated. Thank you, YMCA! Furthermore, I will only swim in a pool. The ocean terrifies me. You can find me dipping my toes in the ocean, but I’ll never jump in. 

Even though they aren’t favorites, per se, I absolutely love that therapists are represented in emoji form–the brain and the couch with a lamp. 🧠🛋️

As an aspiring therapist, I hope my friends and family can one day add those emojis to my contact information. For, I don’t know about you, but I love adding emojis to people’s contact info to symbolize who they are as people, or what they mean to me. 

The other day, I learned a friend of mine had the exact same emojis for me as I did her–in the exact same order. Needless to say, it deeply warmed my heart. 

Lastly, I will end with some of my favorite emojis in general. Those include but are not limited to: the nesting doll, the girl salsa dancer, the ASL I love you, the heart eyes, the laughing face, multiple hearts, and more. 🪆💃🏼🤟🏻😍😂🩷🩵💙💁🏼‍♀️

I’d love to hear from you! What are some of your favorites—but only use emojis! I’d love to get to know you better!

Blessings,

Renata

–

Thank you dearly for taking time out of your lives to read my blog! Your support means the world to me. I praise God you found this blog, whether you stumbled upon it accidentally or sought it out intentionally.

I’d LOVE to hear from you all! Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at coffee.soothes.the.soul@gmail.com.

I pray God would bless you and be with you always, no matter where you find yourselves in life.

–

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. – Romans 4:25 (NIV).

Helping Others: Thoughts, Advice, and Limits

If I had all the resources and time in the world, all I would do is help people.

Maybe this is because I have had seasons in my life when I have felt utterly helpless. I have had seasons when I must consistently rely on other people. I want to be able to extend the very help I have graciously received.

Maybe it is because it is ingrained in most people to help others. I think no matter who you are, what you believe, or what you do, you probably almost always want to help someone. Or, at least I hope so. 

I am one of those people who wants to try to help everyone any chance I can. I’d give anything to always help my friends, loved ones, or anyone for that matter–in whatever ways necessary.

I am slowly but surely learning that is physically not possible. I don’t have the time or resources to do that. And I can’t. God is the only one who can be everywhere all at once. I can’t be God, but I can honor God in how I help people. 

And I can embrace my limitations. God gave us limitations for a reason. Limitations aren’t bad! We are all a part of the body, each with our own unique purpose and gifts that are just as essential as our neighbors’. 

Please, don’t try to compare yourself to someone either. Try not to look at someone else doing something else and think, “Ah, man! I wish I could do that. I’d be more helpful if I could do that.”

Your skills are just as helpful as someone else’s. Not everyone may need your specific help all of the time but that doesn’t mean it isn’t purposeful. There is a time and place for each person’s helpful skills.

God doesn’t expect or demand a grand gesture to help others either. He simply asks you to do so with a pure heart, much like the woman who fell before His feet and wept and put perfume on them. She had nothing to offer Him, but she did have tremendous faith. 

Therefore, we, too, ought to serve others–especially in the smallest of ways–and trust that God will use those moments for both the giver and receiver.

I am trying my best to remember that as I feel stuck in this season. I must trust that I can and will help people in my own way. I don’t have to be the one who drives to go help someone. Sometimes, the greatest help someone needs is knowing someone else sees them and cares. And that can be done through a text or phone call. 

Or, I can provide a listening ear and compassionate heart to someone going through a difficult season. My own difficult life experiences often allow me to reach people others may not be able to reach. I cannot tell you how many times people have bared their heart, life, and soul with me. Oftentimes, I do the same in return. For, vulnerability encourages vulnerability. 

Or, I love baking. So, I frequently bake for church events. Sometimes, it is from scratch. Other times, it is from a box. Regardless, my skill in baking serves a need. And I don’t have to leave my home to do it!

My own experiences have also taught me just because you can’t help now, doesn’t mean you won’t be able to help later. It is okay to say, “I can’t help right now, but I’m praying for you. I’ll check in later to make sure you don’t need anything.” And do check in. 

So many times, people are bombarded with help when they first need it. Sometimes, that need for help lingers well past that initial phase. It can make all the difference in the world to know someone is still thinking of you and your needs, whether that be hours, days, weeks, or months down the road.

Another thing I must also remember is that I don’t have to be in a “helping” job to help others. For the longest time, I’ve been convinced that I will truly only begin to help people when I am a therapist. I keep longing to be a therapist to fulfill this helper role. 

Thankfully, countless people in my life keep reminding me that isn’t true. It isn’t true for me and it isn’t true for you. I can help now. And so can you.

We may not be able to help everyone all at once, but we do have the ability to make a profound impact on the world. It is completely cheesy but it is true. 

Here are just a few of the ways you can help another person:

Open the door for someone.

Help a short person reach something on a higher shelf. 

Let someone go in front of you in line. 

Pay it forward in a drive-thru.

Offer a physically disabled person or older person a helping hand. Ask first. 

Check in on your friends regularly, so you are aware of what’s going on in their lives. If you know, you are more equipped to help in the smallest of ways. 

Wrap gifts for others who may struggle because of physical limitations or simply because they aren’t good at it.

Bake a home-cooked meal for someone trapped inside this winter or for someone who is going through an illness or new birth, etc.

Truly, the opportunities are endless. I highly encourage you to find ways to help others that are unique to you and your skills. You don’t have to do the traditional things. Although, there is nothing wrong with dropping everything at a moment’s notice for another person.

Lastly, if you don’t know how to help someone, simply ask! The answer very well may surprise you. And the sentiment never goes unnoticed or underappreciated. I guarantee it. 

Blessings,

Renata

–

Thank you dearly for taking time out of your lives to read my blog! Your support means the world to me. I praise God you found this blog, whether you stumbled upon it accidentally or sought it out intentionally.

I’d LOVE to hear from you all! Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at coffee.soothes.the.soul@gmail.com.

I pray God would bless you and be with you always, no matter where you find yourselves in life.

–

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. – Romans 4:25 (NIV).

Reflecting on Funerals: Why They Are Hard to Attend

I think one of the things I enjoy least about getting older is I am now going to more funerals. Like many other people, funerals are not easy for me to attend. Oftentimes, funerals leave me with a deep sadness and self-reflection of my own life and legacy. 

It is so hard to embrace the finality of someone’s death. Going to their funeral only solidifies that in a way. And how do you celebrate–oftentimes decades–of life in a mere hour or two? It is a challenging feat!

I know I, for one, want people to share about me as a person and the Gospel. I want both because it is only in that gathering that people who know me from all seasons and walks of life would come together. I mean, have you ever stopped to think about just how many different people all of us know? It is truly incredible. 

However, I also struggle to go to funerals because of my faith. I am a professing Christian. Therefore, I believe those who have a personal relationship with God, who have accepted Him into their hearts, will spend eternity with Him in Heaven after dying.

For many Christians, death is not scary. In fact, some, if not many, may even long to be home with Jesus. That isn’t to say life on earth is utterly terrible. There are good things on earth. 

Nevertheless, there is a great hope and longing to be in our heavenly home with God and the believers who have gone before us. There is a great hope and longing to experience the majesty of Heaven, where there will be no tears, no pain, and no hurt, as stated in Revelation 21:4 above. Instead, there will only be rejoicing and worshiping of our Savior.

Furthermore, I believe those who do not have a relationship with God will spend their eternity apart from Him in hell. God will say to them, “I did not know you,” as expressed in Matthew 7:21-23 (ESV):

“Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven. On that day many will say to me, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name, and cast out demons in your name, and do many mighty works in your name?’ And then will I declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from me, you workers of lawlessness.’”

I know not everyone will agree with me. In fact, some of you may be mad that I uttered those words. Some of you may stop reading this blog post right here and now. 

However, those words are the very reason why going to funerals can be extremely hard for me. At some funerals, I have full confidence I will see the person again one day in Heaven. I know full well he or she was a believer who walked with the Lord. Those funerals bring me peace, despite my sadness.

At other funerals, I am left with a question mark. This person may or may not be a believer. I honestly do not know, whether it be because I did not know him or her well enough to know that answer or it was not made clear at their service. Regardless, those funerals are hard because I do not know if I will see him or her again in Heaven.

The unknown is really hard to grasp and fathom. All I can do in those moments is trust God. It truly will be fascinating to see who I meet in Heaven. I think I very well may be surprised by some of the believers in Heaven–but in a positive, exciting way! I’ll always be excited to learn someone knew Christ!

At other funerals, I have full confidence I will not see that person again one day. For, I know he or she did not know Christ. I know this through various conversations or simply by how the person lived his or her life. And those funerals shatter my heart into a million little pieces. Nothing breaks my heart more than to know someone will spend eternity apart from God. 

Again, I know these words may upset some people. But, I do believe them to be true. God takes it very seriously when someone lives a life apart from Him. I believe everyone has the potential to know Jesus Christ. Even if you do not know the Gospel story, there is proof of God everywhere. YOU are proof of God because He made you and quite literally gives you the breath in your lungs. 

I hope and pray that my life and my words are a testament to Christ. I desperately want people to see Jesus when they see my life. Believe me, I am extremely sinful. But, whatever good I do have in me comes only from the Lord. 

Just as I did last week, if you do not know Christ, I implore you to repent of your sins and invite Him into your heart. None of us are promised tomorrow. I long for you to know God’s peace that goes beyond all understanding. I especially long for you to spend eternity with Him right alongside me. 

Blessings,

Renata

–

Thank you dearly for taking time out of your lives to read my blog! Your support means the world to me. I praise God you found this blog, whether you stumbled upon it accidentally or sought it out intentionally.

I’d LOVE to hear from you all! Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at coffee.soothes.the.soul@gmail.com.

I pray God would bless you and be with you always, no matter where you find yourselves in life.

–

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. – Romans 4:25 (NIV).

Unpacking a C.S. Lewis Quote: Trauma, Pain, and Hope

You know how you can read a quote or hear a song and it deeply resonates with you? That’s how I felt about the above quote. 

When I read the quote, I thought, “Wow! THIS. YES. C.S. Lewis gets it.” And then, I instantly thought, “I have to write a blog post about it.” So, here we are. 

This quote puts into words my experiences and outlook on life. Because I have been through a lot of trauma, I am someone who is always looking over their shoulder, waiting for the next terrible thing to happen. 

It’s exhausting to always brace yourself for the worst. I know we all hear and experience bad things in our lives. I am sure countless other people have been through many more worse things than me. 

My experiences are valid and so are yours. You are not alone.

I don’t doubt God’s plans for my life. I fully believe that God’s plans for my life will unfold just as He predestined them to. And, after watching God’s plan for my life unfold thus far, I am always wondering, what new trauma or pain will I endure as part of that plan and purpose for my life? 

Now, some might be thinking, “Isn’t that cynical, negative, and maybe even a little unhealthy?” You are not entirely wrong. But, I think one thing people don’t realize is, when you’ve been through a lot of trauma, you see life through a somewhat broken lens. 

You are constantly living in fight or flight mode. You are simply trying to survive and meet your basic needs. Your brain is constantly trying to process one, if not more, traumas, all the while awaiting the next. Oftentimes, you are physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted from being on edge all the time. 

I am learning and relearning how to cope with all the pain and trauma I’ve endured–and will continue to endure. 

That’s why I found this quote from C.S. Lewis to be incredibly encouraging. He understood the human experience. I think it’s very realistic because this quote doesn’t deny God or His power or His purpose. But, it is acknowledging sin and the fall of man. How much will those two things bring suffering in my life? And how will God use my suffering to bring me closer to Him? 

God often uses painful times to bring about His purpose. He uses painful times to mold us and shape us and fasten us to Him. That isn’t to say He doesn’t use good moments, too–because He does. 

However, I think, whether or not you believe in God, everyone’s life is hard because of sin. Everyone feels the effects of sin. Sin makes people hurt other people. Sin even makes us hurt ourselves through our words and actions.

Sin brings about pain and trauma.

But! God can use the very sin that separates us from Him to bring us closer to Him. 

Again, God can use the very sin that separates us from Him to bring us closer to Him. 

He can use a battle with drugs or alcohol, an eating disorder, or one’s tendency to make fun of others to bring someone to Him. He can use anything–big or small–to bring someone to Him. 

He wants to know you. He wants to have a relationship with you. He wants you to be His Child. And He wants to use the difficult things in your life to bring you closer to Him. 

That’s why God’s best can be painful. And that’s why people like me deeply resonate with C.S. Lewis’s thought above, “How painful will the best turn out to be?”

Truthfully, I don’t think I would be a Christian if it weren’t for the hard things I’ve been through. God has used and continues to use my traumas to bring me to Him. And I can’t imagine a life without Him. Juggling everything would be even harder, if not nearly impossible, without Him. 

If you don’t know Jesus, I highly encourage you to read my page, The Life Behind My Blog.

If you don’t have time to read it, I want you to know this: Jesus died on the cross for your sins, for my sins, and for the sins of those who have sinned against you. He showed love in the most sacrificial and poignant way ever imaginable. 

He offers hope in this dark world. He offers light in the darkness that pain, trauma, and sin can bring.

Please, come to Him. Acknowledge your own sin. Repent. Give your life over to God. 

Commit to following Him and His ways. See what you need to change about your life. This process of repentance and growing more into the image of Christ isn’t easy and it is lifelong, but it is beautiful. 

When you accept Jesus into your heart, you don’t have to say anything grand. 

All you have to say is, “Jesus, I am sorry for all of my sins. Thank you for dying on the cross for me. I want to follow you.” 

That’s it. 

In that moment, your life will be forever changed. You will be resting in the arms of your Heavenly Father. And He will be with you every step of the way. Life won’t get easier, but it will be so much sweeter and richer.  

I am confident of this: It is because of God that I can face every painful trauma from my past, present, and future. My heart so desperately longs for you to be able to do the same, dear brothers and sisters.

Blessings,

Renata

–

Thank you dearly for taking time out of your lives to read my blog! Your support means the world to me. I praise God you found this blog, whether you stumbled upon it accidentally or sought it out intentionally.

I’d LOVE to hear from you all! Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at coffee.soothes.the.soul@gmail.com.

I pray God would bless you and be with you always, no matter where you find yourselves in life.

–

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. – Romans 4:25 (NIV).

My Blog: Why I Stopped Posting Regularly

This post is long overdue, but vital to my blog. I think it is extremely necessary to write.  

If you take a look at blog post history, you will notice that I posted regularly every single week for years and then it stopped suddenly. Then, I posted once or twice a year at most. 

This minimal posting began in 2019. I barely posted in 2019 because I had a lot going on in my personal life and I was finishing my bachelor’s degree, which took a lot of my time and attention. Plus, I worked full-time back then. 

However, my lack of posting continued even after I finished school and quit my full-time job. One would think I would post more after those two events occurred. But, I didn’t. 

I have to tell you, I intentionally have not written regularly from 2020 until now. It was not an accident. I chose to stop. I was not being forgetful. As I’ve mentioned countless times on my blog, it is part of my personality to be a diligent person. I hope my previous posting habits can be evidence of that. 

I did not write for a reason. I may have already mentioned the reason briefly in a previous post. Nevertheless, I wanted to dedicate an entire post to my explanation and thoughts.

I did not write because I genuinely did not think I had anything worthwhile to say during a global pandemic. I mean, what can you say while the world is experiencing such devastating loss? 

As a writer, for once, I had nothing to say. I was numb and speechless. The writing part of my brain shut down for years, which was extremely hard to grasp as a lifelong creative. It was my longest, most difficult creative block to date.

I genuinely thought, “Why would anyone want to read a blog post during this time?” 

Like billions of other people during this time, I was simply trying to survive and meet my basic needs. The last thing I wanted to do was post on my blog. 

Thankfully, I found other ways to express my creativity, such as collaging, which I do believe blessed others. I thoroughly enjoyed sending photos of my creations to friends and loved ones during the pandemic. 

I may do another collage one day and I may not. Regardless, I am immensely grateful for the purpose it served in that season of life. To be honest, I’ll probably never get rid of my collages solely because of the season of life I created them in. 

Additionally, my time during the pandemic affirmed that I am an outgoing introvert. I desperately need contact with other people on a somewhat regular basis to function. Being isolated from people was incredibly hard for me. I kept my pod of people extremely small on purpose. Nevertheless, they were such a massive gift from the Lord. 

Truthfully, I got COVID-19. Thankfully, my case wasn’t terrible. But, I wholeheartedly believe I got it so I can further relate to and understand other people, whether it be as an aspiring therapist, stranger, or friend. I am choosing to see it as a good thing that I got it, despite how uncomfortable my experience was with the virus.   

I think COVID-19 created this bond with people that you wouldn’t have otherwise. I remember how terrifying it was to test positive. Like many people, I had no idea how my body would respond. We, as a world, have this universal bond now, whether it be from contracting COVID-19 or from simply enduring the pandemic in general. I think there’s something to be said for that. 

Furthermore, I just want to say, I probably needed a break from this blog. I am a very rigorous person who does all she can to meet deadlines and be consistent. Again, as I am sure you can see from my posting history. 

Regardless, sometimes, keeping up with a weekly posting schedule negatively impacted me. Oftentimes, I put this pressure on myself to meet a standard that I created. Mind you, my blog is a passion project. No one is making me write here. I simply do it because I deeply enjoy writing. 

As I’ve mentioned before, some weeks, I struggled to get a post up, but I did it because I felt like I had to. Now, I am not as concerned.

But, also now, I am deeply inspired and driven to create and write again. I think my years-long creative block is finally coming to an end. One amazing conversation reignited that spark in me. It’s incredible how God can do that!

And, simply speaking, I think it’s time. I think it is time to post here again.

Knowing me, I will post regularly, now that the world has somewhat recovered from the pandemic. And I say somewhat because I personally believe it will always be around to some degree, much like the flu. 

Like everyone else in the world, I sincerely hope and pray it is not so vicious ever again. But, if it is, I am confident God is in control. It will not surprise HIm, just as the pandemic itself did not surprise Him. 

Whether you’ve been here from the beginning or you are just now finding me, thank you so much for reading. I hope you will stick around for this new chapter of the Coffee Soothes the Soul blog.

Blessings,

Renata

–

Thank you dearly for taking time out of your lives to read my blog! Your support means the world to me. I praise God you found this blog, whether you stumbled upon it accidentally or sought it out intentionally.

I’d LOVE to hear from you all! Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at coffee.soothes.the.soul@gmail.com.

I pray God would bless you and be with you always, no matter where you find yourselves in life.

–

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. – Romans 4:25 (NIV).

Grief: Embarking on the Journey

In summer 2021, I lost someone very important to me. I’d lost people before, but this was the first time I lost someone close to me that I developed a meaningful relationship with. It is the first time I have really had to walk through the journey of grief in death. I have had to grieve other things before, but not in this way. I’d heard of the stages and whatnot before, but this was the first time I had to experience them for myself. 

All these months later, I’m definitely still grieving. I probably always will to some degree. Thankfully, I have some peace in the loss because my friend believed in God. I have assurance they are rejoicing with the Lord.

Nevertheless, most of the time, I am just numb. I am numb to the reality of the loss. I am numb to the notion of a world without this person. I am numb to the loss of a dear friend and meaningful friendship. I am numb to the constant reminders of this person, to the reminders they are gone. 

Perhaps, I am so numb because this isn’t a trauma I’ve been through before. I have had my fair share of trauma, but nothing like this loss. My usual coping mechanisms or lackthereof just don’t seem to make sense in this situation. Therefore, I don’t know how to respond. I don’t know how to process it. I simply know how to be.

This journey of grief has been tricky. I am not crying as much as I thought I would. But, at the same time, I can just feel this emptiness. It is hard not to compare my grief with that of others I’ve known or witnessed. I wish there was a “right” way to grieve so I knew I was doing it right, healing right. But, there’s not. There’s just your grief and my grief, each uniquely their own with every loss. 

I have commemorated the loss in multiple ways, which has helped me and meant more to me than I originally anticipated. This loss has taught me the importance of honoring people. I want to honor every painful loss in a way that is unique to the person, whether it be a piece of jewelry, a t-shirt, etc. 

I have struggled to talk about the loss. I should probably talk about it more, but I feel like I might be a burden if I do, especially if the listener didn’t know the person as well as I did. Maybe it’s just me being afraid of feeling my feelings, or maybe there’s something to my hesitation. Thankfully, I do talk about it some. And I do journal. 

I guess all I am trying to say is I’ve experienced a big loss. I am still trying to figure out what it means and how to make sense of it. Time may or may not help. I don’t know. To those of you who’ve walked this journey before me, I’d love some advice. To those of you who are also grieving, you are not alone. It’s a hard path to walk, but one all of us must eventually embark on. 

Blessings,

Renata

–

Thank you dearly for taking time out of your lives to read my blog! Your support means the world to me. I praise God you found this blog, whether you stumbled upon it accidentally or sought it out intentionally.

I’d LOVE to hear from you all! Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at coffee.soothes.the.soul@gmail.com.

I pray God would bless you and be with you always, no matter where you find yourselves in life.

–

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. – Romans 4:25 (NIV).

I Can’t Believe It! A Blog Post!

Wow, I can’t believe I am actually writing a blog post. It has been nearly two years since this has occurred. I think it is safe to say a lot has happened in the past two years–for me, for you, and for the entire world. 

I didn’t write on here for quite awhile because I didn’t know what to say. I don’t like talking about current events online or in my personal life much, to be honest. It breaks my heart to be acutely aware of the sin, pain, and hurt in this world. 

I also didn’t write on here because I’ve been going through quite the journey with my mental health. I won’t deny that. I just had to take a break. I am writing here because I had a random desire to do so, that’s all. I didn’t want to squander that. 

I’ve experienced a great deal of hurt, pain, and loss in the last two years. The traumas still come. But, I’ve also had some great joy. I’ve met incredible people, deepened friendships, and even rekindled some, too. Most importantly, I have seen God’s faithfulness, despite so much hardship. 

I’ve really gotten into being active. I’m exercising more now than I ever have before and it’s so fun. The workouts can be brutal, but I’ve enjoyed staying fit. I’ve even enjoyed competing with people on my Apple Watch. It’s amazing how a little bit of competition can motivate someone.

My main forms of exercise are swimming, biking, running, basketball, yoga, and old school strength building through push-ups, sit-ups, and jumping jacks. I LOVE and need the variety! In fact, I am training for a mini triathlon for physically disabled people! I am so excited for it. Training has been challenging, but rewarding. If anything, it’s helping me stay active, which is a gift. 

My dog is well. The little man has surely made the most of his humans being home more often. I still love coffee. I’ve discovered a love for Boba/bubble tea. I want to get an air fryer for Christmas. I’ve picked up collaging. I still listen to songs on repeat. I’ve discovered a love for puzzles and painting my nails. 

As always, I do not know when I will write here again. For, I do not know when the desire will come again. Nevertheless, I am grateful for this flicker. I truly hope you all have been as well as you can be. I know the world is still so chaotic. You are not alone! May you find peace in Christ this day and forever more. 

Blessings,

Renata

–

Thank you dearly for taking time out of your lives to read my blog! Your support means the world to me. I praise God you found this blog, whether you stumbled upon it accidentally or sought it out intentionally.

I’d LOVE to hear from you all! Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at coffee.soothes.the.soul@gmail.com.

I pray God would bless you and be with you always, no matter where you find yourselves in life.

–

He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. – Romans 4:25 (NIV).