I have officially read the first chapter of the textbook for my current course. Exciting, isn’t it? Surprisingly, I have yet to have my freak-out session abut my course. No worries, it will come in due time.
If it does not happen by the time this post is public, it will surely happen this weekend. Nevertheless, that is not what I plan on discussing this week. In fact, truth be told, I didn’t think I would ever write this post. But, God had different plans, friends.
First and foremost, for those of you who do not know, I was adopted when I was five and a half years old. As I grow older, I continually have experiences that help me process the event. This is one of them.
Earlier this week while at a doctor’s appointment, I overheard a conversation between a patient and an employee. The two had a discussion about the employee’s parents, who adopted a few of their children, including the employee.
During said discussion, the patient mentioned how wonderful it was that the employee’s parents adopted him and others in his family. The employee promptly responded, “Yes, it is. But, it takes a special person to adopt.”
Guys, that comment floored me. Much like my thoughts about a contestant on The Bachelor, who helped me not feel alone in my beliefs about my adoption, hearing the employee say that brought me great peace.
Honestly, this was the first time I’d ever heard someone else say, “It takes a special person to adopt.” For years, I’ve walked around telling people that exact statement. I often wondered if I was alone in those thoughts.
It seems like I am not. It is extra comforting to know I heard it from someone who is in a similar stage of life as me. The introvert in me didn’t have the gumption to interrupt and say, “Yes, I was adopted, too. I completely agree! Thanks for saying that.”
Perhaps, this is my way of doing that.
Because he’s right. I firmly believe it takes a special person.
Even if you don’t know anyone who’s been adopted, it only takes a quick Google search to find a myriad of adoption stories. Some are wonderful, and some are downright horrifying.
As someone who has and continues to experience the highs and lows of adoption, I can assure you, the process is not for everyone. It takes a God-given desire and ability to choose to take someone into your home who is not your own and love him or her well.
The keywords of that sentence are: love him or her well. Getting the child into the home is one thing, but choosing to love him or her, despite all of their trauma and baggage, is a completely different story.
That is what takes a special person.
And that is what I think a lot of people miss.
Yes, it is awesome that people choose to bring children into their home. Yes, it is wonderful that kids get to have a family because of said people.
But, the story doesn’t stop there. That’s only the beginning, especially for the adopted individual.
For, just because a person is adopted, does not mean he or she has forgotten their past. The adoption is simply a new chapter their life story.
If adoption was only about providing a roof over someone’s head and food on the table, it wouldn’t be any different than being in an orphanage or foster care.
Adoption is about unconditional love.
It is about understanding those who are adopted are constantly hurting on the inside as they process the trauma they’ve been through—despite all the wonderful blessings that come with having a family.
It is about the quality of life and love within the home, not the physical house itself.
Therefore, it is important to realize that to be adopted in a home that sees the process as nothing more than physical well-being can do more than harm than good.
Adoption is messy.
It is a lifelong battle of being grateful for the chance at life and a family, yet constantly wondering what it is the adopted person did to be given up in the first place (in most, but not all scenarios).
So, I tell you: Indeed, it does take a special person to adopt. Take it from me and the complete stranger at my doctor’s office.
May you mindful of this truth if and when you consider adopting a child. For, as wonderful as the feat may be for the parents, it means innumerably more to the children, especially when done well.
Thank you dearly for taking time out of your lives to read my blog! Your support means the world to me. I praise God you found this blog, whether you stumbled upon it accidentally or sought it out intentionally.
I’d LOVE to hear from you all! Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org.
I pray God would bless you and be with you always, no matter where you find yourselves in life.
He was delivered over to death for our sins and was raised to life for our justification. – Romans 4:25 (NIV).