Right now, I am finding it hard not complain about the power of technology.
The intelligent person that I can be decided to do a massive update on my Windows computer just as I sat down to work on my blog. I thought to myself, “Oh, this update should take no more than 10 minutes.” Yeah, 30 minutes have come and gone, and it is not even 25% complete. Sigh.
Sadly, the above incident is quite an accurate depiction of my time management skills. Honestly, time management is one of my weaker areas in life. It isn’t a weak area in the way one would suspect either.
For instance, I have a strong knack for getting a ballpark idea of how long it will take me to do something. And I am usually fairly accurate–if nothing goes wrong or no distractions arise.
You see, as I’ve mentioned numerous times on this platform, I often seek and strive for perfection. Thankfully, I’d say I am now a recovering perfectionist in quite a few areas of my life. But, I still can’t let go of its grip in other areas. Time management is one of those areas.
Oftentimes, I harbor a lofty, more than likely unrealistic expectation of what I can complete in a certain amount of time. For, I do not consider slip-ups or unforeseen and unavoidable issues. I tend to view time management through rose-colored glasses.
As a result, I don’t manage my time to the best of my ability. I am often conflicted, especially as I strive to insert more moments for self-care. But, how much is too much self-care? When should I get down to business and actually start being productive?
Then, don’t even get me started on distractions or the noise of life.
Practically half of the reason why it may take me so long to complete an assignment or, really, any task, is because I get distracted. These distractions can come from a text message, a conversation with my husband, an undone chore, or just my phone, in general.
In a lot of ways, I think I have a mild attention issue. Even though I can intently focus once I am “in the zone,” some days, it takes me a bit to actually reach that point.
Regardless, in my short time as a full-fledged adult, I have yet to fully grasp that we humans only have so many hours in a day. Not only that, we only have so much energy to exert. There comes a point when our bodies say, “Enough is enough.”
I am constantly reminded of this. To be honest, the busy-body energizer bunny in me does not like it. I don’t like it because it is my own dose of humility.
I often joke with people, “I am always rushing around because I am Russian.” As humorous as the joke can be, I think it is an honest reflection of one of my deepest struggles in life.
That is, I always have to feel like I am going somewhere or doing something. Otherwise, I don’t feel adequate or worthy. I am sure I’ve touched on this before.
Nevertheless, my current course about international communication has taught me that my perceived idea of being busy isn’t the norm globally, nor is it always healthy. I’ve come to the realization that America’s almost constant aspiration for “the hustle” isn’t ideal.
Honestly, I am writing this to say, I am struggling. I am struggling to appreciate stillness, to appreciate time for what it is and not what I want it to be. I am writing this to hopefully begin to make sense of it all. I am also writing this to hold myself accountable, to ignite a fire of motivation to grow.
I’ve come to a point in my life where my confused idea of time causes more issue in my life than I’d like to admit. Thankfully, I can usually channel its nasty snare while at work, but it takes a great deal of effort some days.
Today, I don’t have a fancy call to action. I simply have a piece of my heart and life to share. I’d love to know what you all do to manage your time, while also setting aside time for yourself.