As I have gotten older, I have slowly seen how much of my personality and overall self have changed through the years. It’s rather interesting looking back and seeing how I once was. It is even more fascinating when I can pinpoint a time in my life and remember specifically making a conscious effort to improve.
I can tell you right now, I have had many of those moments in the last two years. I always tell people I wasn’t a nice person three years ago. It took Jesus coming into my heart for me to even begin to want to change; let alone put in an effort and try.
I know I say the above-mentioned paragraphs a lot in some way or another in nearly every blog post. I do because they are extremely important in my life. This blog is not only for you, it is for me. It is my life journal for others to read and take part in.
As I have continued to diligently write each week, it becomes progressively more difficult to come up with a new topic or idea. But, it is funny how even a new topic can stem back to the old with ease. My writing has proven to me I am a strong-willed person with firmly rooted beliefs and ideas.
Those reoccurring topics or ideas matter to me because they remind me I still stand for what I believe in. I believe people can change. I believe Jesus can call and turn people away from Him. I believe time can tell us more than we think it can.
Those reoccurring topics are not only my beliefs but building blocks of my foundation. Every time I bring up a topic again, it creates a deeper root. These reoccurring topics also help me see what I believe and why. They help me reexamine myself when necessary.
Ultimately, if my beliefs are not founded in Jesus Christ and His teachings for my life, I am concerned. I have been a believer for nearly three years now. I don’t regret the decision to place my life in His hands. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t easy.
Therefore, if a topic reoccurs, it must matter to me, whether I realize it or not. No matter how long it takes me to realize it, I have to ask myself, “Why does this concern me? Why does this touch my heart?”
It’s difficult to ask myself that. Sometimes, I run away from it. But, eventually, I face it. And when I do, it comes down to what does my relationship with Jesus Christ teach me?
I am a walking-talking pottery piece. I need a lot of work, a lot of grace, and a lot of daily repentance. I need Jesus daily more than I need my waking breath.
I am writing you all this to simply say: Reexamine yourself as often as you need. If you notice a habit or phrase constantly coming of our mouth or actions, examine it. If you notice a thought constantly trailing in your mind trying to take root in your soul, examine it.
I plead with you, listen to yourself. Watch yourself. If you don’t like what you’ve seen lately, change it. Slowly. Don’t bulldoze your heart and mind with unreachable expectations. If you do, it’ll probably make the degrading thoughts you tell yourself even louder once you realize what a fool you’ve been.
Most importantly, give yourself grace. Jesus already has and always will. Don’t think you can’t do the same for yourself. Everyone needs grace. Including me and you.