In the past week, I’ve thought a great deal about how wonderful it is to live with my husband. I recently took a stroll through our apartment. In that stroll, I couldn’t help but thank God for the life He has given me. Yes, it has had its fair share of trials, tribulations, heartbreaks and everything in between. But, they all led me to where I am now.
Now, I am married to a sweet man, whom I deeply love and cherish, whom I also live with, which still blows my mind to this day. Don’t get me wrong, I lived with others before, especially coming from a big family and simply having junior college roommates.
But, I had never lived with a guy until I married my husband. I mean, I began my wedding day living on my own and ended it living with my husband. As a Christian believer, I chose to not live with my husband until we were married. I realize not everyone will agree with our decision, but it is what God called us to.
In a way, I relate to Monica on Friends when she realizes she’s living with a boy. She freaks out a little, no matter how prepared she may think she is. I freaked out a little just because it was new for me, not because I didn’t want it to happen. I knew it was part of God’s plan for my life once I married my husband. For that, I was grateful.
Needless to say, it took quite the adjustment to live with him. When I say with him, I mainly mean it took quite the adjustment to get used to living with someone of the opposite gender. Plus, there was the added notion of sharing nearly everything with him. It was much different than any other living situation I previously encountered, where there are still boundaries.
Yes, we have had to get used to our fair share of quirks and habits. For instance, my hair sheds everywhere. Or, he has to place his keys in the same spot when coming home from work each day. Or, I prefer to take showers first on the weekdays, but not on the weekends.
We’ve also had to find a balance between house chores and errands, especially since we only have one car. Regardless of our vehicle count, though, we had to find a balance because we are a team. We are united as one in holy matrimony.
Not only have we had to find a balance between chores and whatnot, but it took quite a bit to find a “me time” routine. You know, a routine set apart for both of us to spend time by ourselves to relax and unwind. As introverts, we need that time to ourselves to recharge.
Nevertheless, just as we needed to find time to recharge our introverted battery, we also needed to be intentional about spending time together. When I say time together, I don’t just mean sit on the couch and watch a show either. Although, that is nice. I mean, get a little dressed up, go out, enjoy a meal and maybe a game of mini golf. Indeed, go on a date and enjoy each other’s company.
It can be so easy to let the busyness of life go by. It’s easy to think, “Oh, I live with this person. We should have no problem spending quality time together.” Our nearly two years of marriage have taught us that is a lot harder than one might think, especially with me still in school.
Thankfully, we’ve done a decent job of making time for each other. We’ve learned to say no for the sake of us, no matter how much we want to say yes and add another event to our schedule. I continuously learn each day why it is so important to make time for each other, whether we’ve been married two years, twenty-five years, or fifty years.
My call to you is this: If you’ve lived with your spouse for only a short while, be patient. Let the kinks and quirks of living together work out. It will take time. But, it is incredibly sweet, so don’t try to rush it. It’s another part of your lives as one. Cherish those funny moments as you figure life out together.
If you’ve lived with your spouse for a long while, go on a date. Yup, go on a date. Don’t let your everyday routine get in the way of your sweet bond in marriage.
And whether you are married or dating, may Jesus always be the center of your relationship. May He be first in your lives. May He guide your footsteps and ways. Don’t let the judgment of others stop you from waiting until marriage to live together.
God’s blessing for waiting is as sweet as honey, dear friends.