My adoption challenged me in numerous ways this week. It has brought me to an uncomfortable state of fear and trepidation. In this past week, I spent nearly an hour dissecting parts of my adoption with my counselor. This week also marked 17 years in America.
It’s funny how life works. I walked into my counseling session unaware of what I would discuss. Yet, I surely thought it would not regard my adoption. In the same week, I’ve struggled with and celebrated my adoption.
I don’t know what God intended in those circumstances. But, they happened. One day, I am torn and heavy-laden. The next, God reminds me of the very gift of life I have. God reminds me being able to call America home is a blessing in disguise. I may not always see the blessing that it is. Nonetheless, it is a blessing.
I think my roller coaster of emotion towards a pivotal event is quite symbolic of life itself. It was a nudge from God saying, “I did not promise life would be easy. However, I did promise I would always be with you.” I think the shift of emotion towards one event shows that we ultimately do not have control of our lives.
Quite frankly, we can walk into a day, a week, a month, a year, or even our lives thinking we have a small idea of how it will unfold. Truthfully, we have no idea. I spent most of my celebratory “Happy 17 years in America” day deeply struggling with depression.
I thought I would walk into Wednesday with no hurt or heartache. Yet, I did. It did not last the whole day. But, it did shift the focus of my day and its circumstances for quite a while. Saying this does not mean I am ungrateful for the Lord’s gift of life in America. Saying this solidifies, yet again, my plans are not always the Lord’s.
My battle with depression on my celebratory day in America also showed me that every day should be a celebratory day for my life—not just on my birthday or on my “Welcome to America” anniversary. God does not call us to have joy and a thankful heart only on the good days. He calls us to always have joy and a thankful heart.
That does not mean I always have it together. No, it means, each day, I stop and take a moment to praise and thank the One who created the universe and my being. It means, no matter what day it is or how rough it is, God is worthy of our praise, thanks, and adoration.
So, no, I did not spend the whole day, or even week, jolly about my adoption. Nevertheless, I was always grateful.
My challenge to you is simple: Treat each day as a gift. Celebrate each day, no matter how mundane or grand it may be. No one day is greater in the eyes of God. May you find gratitude in the deepest of valleys and highest of mountains—even on a messy Monday.