Life in 20-Minute Spurts: Trying to Find Peace in Chaos

just_keep_swimming_by_handdrawnviolist-da7jogtWell, guys, I wrote this in 20 minutes because I had to. My life is so hectic right now that I want to scream from all the stress. Adulthood is stressful. It’s chaotic and always moving.

I cannot remember the last time I relaxed because I could, not because I had to simply to give myself a break. I just want you to know that I am having a rough time trying to make sense of all my priorities.

I do not know how some people can constantly be going and going. I did not think I had anxiety until the last few months or so. The last few months I have felt the pains of simply trying to find room to breathe in the chaos.

I just don’t know how I am supposed to make sense of it all. I hate it when I cannot understand my emotions, my experiences, and the people around me. I have had so much go on lately, yet I have not been able to find the time to put my thoughts on paper.

I have an accumulating list of blog post ideas I desperately want to make a reality. But, I cannot do them justice in 20-minute spurts. I cannot. So, I have not.

As a writer, I firmly believe in authenticity. I firmly believe in crafting a piece of writing into something beautiful and inspiring. I firmly believe in being honest with every word and thought.

I am not taking a break. I am simply telling you I have so much planned that I want to say but not enough time to put it to paper. I am hoping my life will calm down a bit once I have a small break from school, which is coming oh, so soon! I am so excited.

Please bear with me among the trenches of juggling a full-time job, school, and a marriage. Please know that, from the bottom of my heart, I want to keep creating content. But, I refuse to publish inauthentic work.

I praise God that in the muddles of life, I still stand firm in what I believe and hold dear to my heart. My blog—what and how I present content—is no exception. In the midst of all of it, I still have something to be grateful and joyful for. There is no greater peace.

If your life is as chaotic as mine right now, rest assured, you are not alone. I suppose it’s bound to happen to all of us with the holiday season in full-swing and the coming and going of another year ahead.

My call to you is the same that I have for myself: Just breathe. Count to 10 and breathe. It may sound cheesy and unnecessary, but it truly works. No, life’s chaos won’t be gone, but it will be a little less stressful.

Blessings,

Renata

 

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