As a Writer: Honest Intentions

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I think there comes a point in every writer’s life they feel burnt out and unpassionate. Part of me believes I am at this point right now. For the past month or so, I wrote because I had to, not because I wanted to. For the past month or so, I sat down with no ideas ready to dive onto the paper.

I keep an accumulating list of ideas. But, writing takes inspiration. It takes an igniting of one’s heart to put thoughts to paper. Writing doesn’t happen without inspiration. Writing takes time. Although I have an ongoing list, I can never seem to find the right moment or words to put an idea in motion.

Over my years as a writer, I have learned writing can’t be forced. It must be genuine. It must be honest. It can’t be out of discontent or pressure from others. Writing must first come from the heart. Everything else will fall into place afterwards.

As a writer, I’ve learned my main concern should be to speak from the heart. It should be to speak the truth I know to be true in my life. Everything else is secondary.

I am still trying to embrace the notion I am not writing to please anyone; therefore, I should not timidly hold back out of fear of hurting someone’s feelings. That doesn’t mean I can be cold and heartless about how I say what I say, but it does mean I should write with love and truth.

Just like anything else I do, I have to remind myself why I am doing what I am doing. I have to reevaluate my intentions. I have to ask myself why I maintain this blog, why I want to write a book, why I even consider myself a writer in the first place.

As of late, I don’t like my answers to the questions. As of late, I find myself in a funk. It could be because I added school onto my plate recently. It could be because I have slept less lately. It could be because I am going through a lot of change. It could be because I feel distant from God. Or, it could really all boil down to a heart issue.

All of the excuses I listed above have one common problem—my heart. I am not invested as much as I could be. Or, I could even be overinvested in some areas. I may spend my entire life learning how to balance my priorities and never find the answer.

All this to say, writing has been difficult for me lately. Being vulnerable has been difficult for me lately. I am abundantly blessed, no doubt. I simply don’t know how to make sense of my intentions. I need to take a good hard look at myself.

If my writing hasn’t felt as true and honest lately, I am sorry. It takes a lot for someone to evaluate their God-given talent. I know I’ve always had a knack for writing. Sometimes, I misplace the root of that talent.

I leave you with this: Be prepared to answer the big questions. Be prepared to make changes, if necessary. Most importantly, be honest. Believe it or not, the older I get, the more I realize, honesty really is the best policy. Thanks for taking this writing journey with me. May it continue to bless each of you and may it reignite my heart once more.

Blessings,

Renata

 

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