My birthday is this week. As it approaches, I dread it even more than the day before. It’s funny how that part of my life has changed since being a kid.
Growing up, I always looked forward to my birthday. I loved the presents and the idea of a whole day for me. I loved everyone telling me happy birthday and giving me well wishes. With each passing year, I don’t really look forward to my birthday.
It has nothing to do with aging. I don’t mind aging. I am completely fine with aging. In fact, I have already decided I will be one of those women who completely and utterly embraces gray hair and wrinkles.
It’s the whole aspect of a day to celebrate my birth that I cannot wrap my head around. Part of me almost finds it selfish and unnecessary. This could be just because I am not a gifts person. I really don’t know.
I mean, yes, I know I am getting a new watch for my birthday. Indeed, that thing is extremely useful. Yet, I could completely live without it. Gifts have never been a way for me to feel loved.
Despite that I am a words person, I don’t want people telling me happy birthday this year either. I don’t want people to shower me with love through my preferred love language.
Quite frankly, I just want the day to be like any other.
As I get older, I realize all I really want for my birthday is for my whole family to get together without gifts for me and simply be with each other. As I get older, I realize quality time is more important than things.
In fact, I am spending my whole birthday with one of my family members simply because I want to have quality time. I am not spending my day lavishing myself in any way, really. Although, my husband does have a few surprises up his sleeve for a later date.
I don’t quite know what to make of my new feelings and notions about my birthday. However, I do know I am confident in them; rather stubborn almost, actually. And though I am stubborn in this decision, I am at peace about it as well. I am choosing to not make a day that should be about me just that.
I don’t know if I will have this perspective this year alone or for the rest of my life. Regardless, my birthday is this week. I won’t tell people when unless they remember it on their own. I won’t make a big deal of it either. I will simply live life and see how it goes.
See you next week: A year older and maybe a little wiser.