Wife. Daughter. Sister. Friend. The list of my identities seemed longer than any other list of experiences. Nearly anything and everything became a part of my identity in society, expect for the only identity I should proclaim—the Daughter of the King, Christ’s beloved, one of HIS chosen people.
Prior to getting married, I did not consider having to face the current struggle that I do. Yet, lo and behold, God shined a light on my pride in the most unexpected way. Currently, I struggle to let go of my title of being a wife. It was only until recently that I realized I looked for any opportunity that I could to say, “My husband and I this,” or “My husband and I that,” or worst of all, “Before my husband and I got married, he went with me get this laptop.” The mere act of saying such phrases became an idol of my heart. I cared more about the title than the wonderful fruit that came from the gift of marriage.
Sadly, this is not the first time a similar event has occurred. Prior to being a wife, I clung onto the title of perfectionist. I sought out moments for people to validate my idol that was perfectionism. I cared more about coming off as perfect rather than the negative repercussions that came of the sad, miserable, and unhealthy pursuit.
However, it took the new title of wife for me to realize just how jaded and egotistical the idols of my identity became. I realized that time after time I yearned to be the pursued instead of following the Pursuer—Christ. I wanted to be the one that people looked at and thought, “Wow, I am jealous of her. She is married. She has what I want.” I wanted to validate and solidify I was who I proclaimed to be. Little did I realize the only person I solidified to be was self-absorbed and self-righteous. I brought people to myself and my name, instead of that of sweet Jesus.
I failed to understand that every time I brought someone, especially myself, closer to my idols and my self-proclaimed identities, I brought him or her further away from Christ. My words and actions did not paint the beautiful picture that is God’s intent for marriage or any precious gift He graciously gives His people for that matter. I praise God that I realized this three months into my marriage instead of 30 years or more.
The only identity that I should proclaim is that of Christ and His kingdom. I should not hesitate to say, “Yes, I am the Daughter of the one true King. Praise God!” Ultimately, without my identity in Christ, I am nothing. As illustrated in Job, Satan took everything away from him. He had nothing left but Christ. Even in all of his loss and suffering, Job still trusted and proclaimed in the Lord’s name. God never fails or leaves. Job knew that. At the end of our lifetime, when we have nothing left, the only thing that will remain is God and our relationship with Him.
Whatever we place our identity, ultimately our hope lies. Therefore, as much as I would love to proclaim from the rooftops that I am a wife experiencing the wonderful gift of marriage, nothing and no one is sweeter than Jesus.
Lastly, I tell you this: Realizing this idol was not a quick process, nor was it fun to truly unmask it for what it was. However, I knew that if I did not do so sooner, this idol of the TITLE of being a wife would turn into an idol towards my husband. The thought of that alone rocked me to my core and caused me to truly evaluate who and what my heart rested in.
Brothers and sisters, I plead with you to look at your heart and capture its true treasures. Do not let the ideas and people of this world consume you like I have for years. Do not rob yourself of the beautiful gift of placing your identity in the Lord. He is the ultimate rock, shield, and defender. He is the giver of all peace and comfort.